happy.

I've decided that I'm happier right now then I have ever been.
I went home this weekend and had a blast.
I love my family so much! They are really amazing.
I had fun with them this weekend! I never thought I'd see the day...
I walk to work every day - listening to Jason Castro..who I love... -
and its sunny and there are birds & flowers and I just love it!
It makes me so happy.
I love being happy.
Its wonderful.

So You Think You Can Dance just started last week.
Its amazing.
I wish I could dance!! Oh wow. If only I had that talent.

There is so much to be done in life.
My friend and I were talking about it yesterday and realized just how much there is to do.
There are so many things to see that will never be seen!
There are so many places to visit that I will never go!
Isn't that sad?
It makes me sad.
We were sitting on the couch today and my roommate asked me "Where do you want to live?"
I told her that I wanted to live in London at some point in my life.
She just laughed at me, then asked again "Where do you want to live?"
I was totally being so serious!! I really truly want to move to London.
She told me that I would never live there and that I was silly.
It kind of made me sad.
Isn't it kind of sad when you realize that there are some things that you want to do that just aren't super realistic?? Hmm. I think so.

I realized today how much of a nerd I am.
I read Pride and Prejudice. Again.
I've now read it..18 times.
Haha! I just love it.
Oh wow.
My high school English teacher laughed at me because of my infatuation with that book.
The day we started reading it I said "I know everything about this book."
He laughed at me and said well lets see you get 100% on the test.
Well, I proceeded to get A's on every quiz and every essay.
Although I didn't get 100% on the test, I got a 98%. The highest anyone had ever gotten.
Like I said. Nerd.
I just really like reading.
Actually, I really just love it.

crazy.

This is hilarious.
I don’t know why…
But it is very funny.



This is just insane to me.
Keep watching til after the frogs go off stage.
It is ridiculous.

dreams.

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined."
- Henry David Thoreau

My dream is to one day own a bookstore. I visualize my life being somewhat similar to that of Meg Ryan in "You've Got Mail" (minus Tom Hanks...he's definitely not my type). A cute little apartment in NYC, right off of central park, owning an adorable little book store. I would love that. Last summer I went into this book store in Park City, UT that I fell in love with. It had a little cafe, homemade cookies, muffins, ect., hot chocolate, tea...It was amazing. There were big comfy chairs, a few couches, a fire place., and rows and rows of beautiful books. Every genre. It was amazing.

memories.

I have always been extremely close with my grandpa - from a very young age I was his side-kick. Anyone who knows me, knows this to be very true. I never remember a time when I wasn't. He is my hero; my best friend. When I was little (okay, it happened until I was a senior in highschool) I would cry when we would leave their house to go back to whatever state or country we were living in at the time. Now looking back, I can see that it was a little ridiculous, but I always felt so heartbroken leaving him. I remember trying to come up with sneaky plans of how I could move there. I remember thinking that I was honestly being rational by asking my parents to let me and my 8 year old self move in with my grandparents. What is possibly my most fond and distinct memory of my childhood is going to school with my grandpa. Because of the memories that I formed during those young years, this campus has a special meaning to me. Certain places on campus cause different experiences to come to me so vividly. I remember it all very clearly.

We would go to his little office.
I would play tetris on his computer.
I remember when he got a new one - it was a blue Apple computer.
He didn't like it as much because he couldn't work it as well.
We would go visit Sharon & Robert.
I remember the pictures that he had on his bookshelves.
They were funny little ones in plastic frames - mostly of me and grandma.
He had all sorts of tubes & cylinders - probably for mixing paint.
I remember the view from his office.
I remember his big tape player with hundreds of tapes.
There was a fridge and a sink - with a big bar of yellowish soap and a big stack of cut newspaper strips for his brushes.
We would make quesadillas on his little burner in his office.
They were always little corn tortillas with a ton of cheese in the middle.
Then we would go to the games center. We would do a round of bowling.
He would always win!
Then we would play skee-ball, and he would give me his tickets.
I would always pick a little cotton bracelet.
I imagine that I had quite the collection over the years.
Then he would take me to the bookstore and I would buy a treat - orange & raspberry sticks.

The campus seemed so different to me then than it does now.
It was such a huge, magical adventure to go to school with grandpa.

love.

In an English Lit class that I was in last semester there was a poem that we studied by George Herbert that I think is absolutely wonderful. It really meant something to me as we were studying it. It has been on my mind since we read it in class (probably 2 months) and I just think that everyone should read I because I really think there is so much to be learned from it.

Love bade me welcome, yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-ey'd Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack'd anything.
"A guest," I answer'd, "worthy to be here";
Love said, "You shall be he."
"I, the unkind, the ungrateful? ah my dear,I cannot look on thee."
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
"Who made thy eyes but I?"
"Truth, Lord, but I have marr'd them; let my shame
Go where it doth deserve."
"And know you not," says Love, "who bore the blame?"
"My dear, then I will serve."
"You must sit down," says Love, "and taste my meat."
So I did sit and eat.

I think that they way it portrays our Savior is just perfect.
"Who made thy eyes but I?"
I love it.

edward & expensive things.

I read "Twilight" today.
the whole book.
cover to cover.
I'm kind of a nerd I guess.
I can't help it.
I would be reading and then suddenly notice that I would have a silly grin on my face.
It happened over and over again.
It's was ridiculous.
It just makes me happy.
Edward Cullen...makes me happy!
I read a book over the summer called Austenland.
Its about a girl who is so infatuated with Mr. Darcy that she can't seem to hold down any other relationships with real men.
I think the same problem may face me sometime in the future.
What if I can't find a man who compares with Darcy & Edward?
What a tragedy that will be.
ha.
kidding.
kind of.

I went grocery shopping last night with my roommate.
Living is so expensive!!
My goodness.
We didn't really even buy that much stuff, and basically stuck to the necessities
(with the exception of dark chocolate covered almonds...I was a nanny last summer in SLC and the mom loved dark chocolate. This family happened to be SUPER healthy - I think most people who know me would be incredibly proud of how healthy I ate that summer - with a veryyyy minimal amount of sugar in the house. So when there would be dark chocolate almonds in the pantry, I would basically be in something fairly close to what I believe Heaven is like. Needless to say, I am now a super huge fan of dark chocolate covered almonds..I love it!)
Anyway...
I was shocked by how much money I spent.
Its ridiculous.
Everything costs so much money!!
College, rent, books, food, clothes!
Shoot!
Plus I'm trying to save for my (hopefully) amazing New York trip this summer.
wow.

It was cold and cloudy today.
Absurdity.
It is may 14.
And it should definitely be sunny.
My goodness.

books.

Some people love animals, some people love sports, some people love art.
I love books.
Ever since I was little, I have loved them.
I have always been an avid reader.
I just finished reading "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer.
It was amazing.
Not as wonderful as "Twilight" but can that realistically be expected?
I think not.

Though the thousands of books that I've read, I've kept a notebook with all of my favorite quotes in it.
Half of the quotes are from "Pride and Prejudice".
More than a quarter, but less than half, are from the "Twilight" Series.
All of these are silly love quotes that I adore.
My high school English teacher labeled me quite early on in the year as a "Hopeless Romantic". I always seemed to pick out a love story.
I could find the underlying love story in any book, regardless of whether or not it was truly there.
However, amongst all of the silly quotes are a few that are powerful to me.
One that I ran across the other day was from Harry Potter.
(hah, yes, I am definitely a Harry Potter fan. Love them)
Professor Dumbledore says, "It is not our ability that shows who we really are, it is our choices."
I have found this to be true.
There are so many people with great abilities, who choose to waste them.
On the reverse there are so many people who, through the choices they make, become great and powerful influences in our society.

freshmen.

I just moved into my new apartment for the summer.
It is wonderful.
I only have one roommate, we have two bathrooms, and a huge kitchen.

But, no matter how much I love my new apartment, there are things that I will probably always miss about the dorms.

1. My roommate giving me a report every morning about the interesting things I had said the previous night in my sleep.
2. Our random dance parties.
3. The heater that never worked.
4. The single bathroom that we shared between 6 of us.
5. The fact that when someone from any of the apartments on the top floor was talking, everyone could hear them because of the silly vents.
6. The stupid locks that always made our keys get stuck.
7. The cinder block walls.
8. The card games in the lobby that ended promptly at 11:59 pm when the RA's came around to lock us in for the night.
9. The long nights of no sleep.
10. Prank wars with the boys in our ward.
11. Eating nothing but Rice-A-Roni, Pasta Sides, Bagels, Popcorn, and Diet Coke.
12. Sharing 2 washers between 50 girls.
13. My best friends. Katelyn, Brynn, & Katie.