confidence.

so i have this english teacher who is extremely sardonic..sometimes to the point of rude.
and he acknowledges it.
if you answer a question in class (as i unfortunately tried to do once)
he will immediately tear your answer apart and essentially make you feel stupid for opening your mouth.
i have a huge paper due in his class tomorrow.
it is worth 1/3 of our grade.
i was stressed.
really stressed.
it was a poetry paper.
i suck at poetry...and quite frankly don't like it most of the time.
so.
i wrote a quick draft of the paper and made an appointment to meet with him today.
i showed up to his office and he was already with someone from my class.
i sat outside the door for the next 35 minutes and listened to this boy get ripped apart.
i was terrified.
i even considered leaving and just turning in my paper how it was.
when he was finally done talking to the other boy, i went in to his office
the boy's paper was covered in red
"it's good to be torn apart sometimes yanno?" he said
sheer terror.
i didn't want this guy to read my paper and make me feel stupid. as if i needed that.
so, he read my paper.
after about 10 minutes, a few nods, and a few "good"s
he handed back my paper
the only thing he had circled was one place where i had put a comma in the wrong place
he then said "you are an excellent writer"
and i left
i smiled the whole way from his office to my next class that was a few buildings away.

now
im not bragging
(well i kind of am. but not in a cocky way..)
but yanno when something just gives you an extreme amount of confidence in yourself?
like, you finally realize that you are good at one aspect of your life?
that you are able to excel at something? it just feels good.

i got my itinerary for london today.
holy cow it is going to be so amazing.
some of the things that we get to do are unreal.
i cant wait to blog from london.
there will be so much to write.
i cant even wait.
78 days.
and counting.

2 days until disneyland.
i am ecstatic.

142 two days til i get married.
happy.

anyway,
after my last post, my cute love showed up at my house with a chocolate shake from mcdonalds..i wonder what a should be craving this time?? :]